Trouble Sleeping
by greengal1996
Summary: Hannah's whole world starts to change as she realizes the truth must be heard.
1. Chapter 1

_Hannah is confused over her feelings for Nick_

**Trouble Sleeping**

**Part I**

"I just came by to tell you I'm happy for you."

"Look, Nick..."

"No really, I am. I'm sorry for all I put you through. I really am. I'm thinking of you always Hannah Jane, but I have to let you go." He turns and starts to walk down her porch steps.

"Wait, Nick, please, don't go!" He keeps walking so she calls out desperately, "I'm not going to marry Big Cat!"

Nick stops and turns slowly, hopefully and looks at her while walking back up her porch steps, "You're not?"

"No, Nick, I'm not, it's you I want to be with, it's always been you…" He grabs her at that moment, as if she would run away! Then in a split second he's wrapping her in his arms, kissing her cheeks and her forehead, the nape of her neck and then oh sweet heaven, he's kissing her lips, just the way he used to. It was all so familiar, yet it was new and exciting and exactly where she wanted to be. She was smiling and giggling and just so happy. He's running his hands down her back up and down with so much pressure… then he cups her bottom and _ohmygod_ he starts to say her name in that way, that way she remembers with such love and need and desperation…

"Hannah, _Hannah, HANNAH!!!"_

Just then she heard this strange noise, an incessant beeping. Then Nick's voice was gone and it was Ray's voice, coming out of Nick's mouth. _What?_ She shook her head, trying to hold on to Nick's image, but it faded away and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. Ray was looking at her with a curious expression.

"Man Hannah Jane, you must have been having one hell of a dream, you were smiling and holding your face, and giggling like a school girl. What were you dreaming about?"

"Uh…. I forget."

"I hate when that happens. Well you better get up if you don't want to be late. I have a few sites to check out and a lot of paperwork to do today, so I might not be home in time for dinner. I'll give you a call. Love you…" He bent down to kiss her on the lips and Hannah turned her head slightly so he missed and got the side of her mouth instead. He smiles at her again and leaves the room. She feels so ashamed of herself for dreaming about another man instead of the one she was going to marry. This was the third time she had dreamed of Nick in the past week. Hannah was starting to worry. Everyone knows the subconscious mind holds your deepest desires. She had been ignoring these dreams, trying not to dwell on them, but they keep happening. The closer it seems she gets to the wedding, the more frequent they have become.

"Well, no use dwelling on it now," she says to her self, "I'm going to be late. SAM??? Are you up yet???" Hannah grabbed her very old bathrobe and wrapped it around her as she walked to her bedroom door.

"Sam? Time to get up honey. SAM!" She opened his bedroom door and her heart squeezed just a little bit. Ever since Sam and Nick had been having their weekly ice cream meetings, her son had started reading, then rereading his book again. Sam was asleep with the book still clutched in his arms. My sweet boy, she thought. He looks so much like his father.

_Meanwhile outside Hannah's house…_

Ray sat in his truck for a long time. He was not't sure if it was 5 minutes or five hours. He just sat there and tried to absorb what had just happened. So this is what it felt like; a broken heart. Wow. He lived a fantasy for 4 years and now, it was finally over. She did not't realize that she spoke out loud. _"I'm not going to marry Big Cat. It's you I want to be with, it's always been you…"_ Damnit! He hit the steering wheel and willed himself to man-up and not cry over this crap.

Hadn't he loved her first? Hadn't he? The day she fell off the swing, and little snot nosed Nicky Garrett got to her first? But he had been watching her from a safe distance the whole time waiting for an opportunity to introduce himself. Hadn't he waited for her all through high school, hoping she would see Nick for the fraud that he was? And then when he left her, hadn't he made sweet love to her during that summer? Promising her that he would take care of her, love her? But she just went to the next guy and the next and the next, trying to dull the pain instead of turning to Ray, the one man that truly loved her. Hadn't he then given up and finally married Christine in an attempt to get over his one true love. Hadn't he just been minding his business 6 years later when she , SHE, made the moves on him. And on that day, he felt finally, Finally, FINALLY she would be his. But it was all a lie, Garrett is who she wanted then and who she wants now. So to hell with her and the rest of them. He was going to bide his time and he would make Hannah Jane pay for his mangled heart. He would make her pay. He shook himself one more time, started the car and drove off to work planning his revenge in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

After Hannah got Sam ready for school she sat at her kitchen table for a long time. Her conversation with Eddie a few months back haunted her thoughts. "There's one thing you've never been Hannah and that's accountable….So stop acting like little Miss Virtuous, because you and I both know that couldn't be further from the truth."

Maybe these dreams and Eddie's voice and Ray asking to adopt Sam were all signs. It was time to confess, come clean. What would everyone think when they found out? Eddie didn't even know the whole story. Ray would more than likely break up with her and Janet and Nick might not ever speak to her again. On top of that, poor Sam; he might just hate her forever. Maybe that's why she felt so bad for Ikey, he was an outcast and she was sure to follow. Hannah stood up, looking out her kitchen window. It looked like such a beautiful day, too bad for her, it was bound to be one of the worst of her life. She picked up her phone and called Janet. She would start with Janet; she just prayed her friend would not judge her too harshly.

Hannah had asked Janet if she could come by on her break at 3. Realizing that it wasn't the right time or place, Hannah called Janet back and asked if they could get together after work instead. Maybe she could come over to Janet's place where they could talk in private? Janet agreed and told Hannah she had some news of her own to tell her so not to be late.

She was tired. Hannah was tired of the lies and the cover-ups. She was ready to tell Nick everything. Eddie was right, he had a right to know. More importantly, so did Sam. She had already opened that Pandora's box when she went to see the lawyer, then again, when she told Ray he could adopt Sam! What a desperate move. Pitiful. Janet knew that Gavin wasn't the father and now the house of cards would crumble. Better to do it herself than watch it fall in front of her eyes outside of her control. Janet would help her… she prayed to God she would.

………………………………….

When she pulled up to Janet's place at 7 it was already dusk. It was a beautiful day. Sam had a good day at school and they had a nice family dinner just the two of them. Ray called saying he was going to work late so not to keep dinner for him. All in all, it was a pretty normal day for Hannah, but she knew, in a few moments, it was all going to change. She took Sam over to her neighbors promising to be back by 9 or so and left for Janet's place. Now she was sitting outside in her car, debating about whether or not it was necessary to tell Janet about her and Eddie. She was afraid Janet would be mad at her for not mentioning it sooner, but it was something she just never talked about. Resigned, Hannah got out of the car and walked to Janet's front door. She knocked and immediately was greeted by Janet, with a hesitant smile on her face.

"Hey, come in. I just took a lasagna out of the oven; I'm starved. You hungry?"

"No, Sam and I already had dinner."

"You mind if I eat? I kinda worked through lunch and got… uhm.. sidetracked during my break today."

"No, I don't mind. You mind if I talk while you eat?"

"No, not at all. Oh, Eddie is stopping by in a little bit. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, really?" Hannah was not ready to face Eddie yet. He would yell and get angry when he found out about Nick. But, she decided, it was better to get it over with.

"Well Janet, it all has to do with what I told you a few months ago, about Gavin not being Sam's dad? You see that summer when Nick left…" Hannah was cut off when she heard the front door open. She looked up and saw not only Eddie but Nick. He looked at her in surprise, as if he hadn't expected to see her there.

"Hey babe. Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up Nicky since he didn't know where you lived exactly."

"Hey Janet, Hey Hannah. Sorry, Eddie invited me over for dinner. Something about the best meal I will ever have." Nick looked a little uncomfortable. He was sure he had not been invited as Eddie insisted.

"Uh, Janet, I didn't know you where having company for dinner, maybe I should just do this another time…" Hannah got up to leave. Eddie walked over to her and gently pushed her back in the seat.

"Hannah, please, it's time. It's okay. Everyone here cares about you. Just talk, talk to all of us. Please, let's just end this now." Hannah started to cry. She didn't know how to begin. She looked over at Nick and he looked like he was going to be sick to his stomach.

"Hannah? Hannah Jane? What's going on? What's everyone so worked up about?" Nick had walked across the room and crouched down next to her, he put his arms around her and held her.

Eddie decided to take charge of the situation.

"Well Nicky..." He blew out a long breath.

"That summer you left? When you left, Hannah was in a real bad way. She was drinking and partying real hard. She was a mess. You know, they guys, we tried to look out for her, but she kinda distanced herself from us as well. It was like, I don't know, we reminded her of you too. Anyway, you sent her those flowers, remember? On her birthday? Around that same time, Stacy gave me the heisman and moved to New York. Anyway…Hannah came to me, the flowers we dying and she was crying. She said 'Eddie, the last thing I ever thought Nick would do is leave me like this? How could he have done this?' And she started crying. She was talking about feeling worthless and cast aside and not good enough and damned if I didn't feel the same way. I told her she was beautiful. And I meant it. I really did Hannah. I was just trying to make you feel better." Eddie turned and looked at Hannah. He had a pained and guilty expression on his face.

"Anyway, we started kissing and one thing lead to another and we're you know… having sex and then she calls out your name, 'Nick, Nick!' and it just made the both of us stop mid-way. You know?" At this point, Eddie looks over at Janet. She was still looking at him. She wasn't throwing him out the door. He walked over to her and held out his hand. She took it, and he continued.

"We vowed never to talk about it, ever."

"So, let me get this straight. You two slept with each other and that's the big secret? It's not that it doesn't bother me, but I lost all rights to be angry at anything you did back then Hannah. I am so sorry that you went through all of that back then. I wish I could take it all back, I do." Nick was rubbing her back in slow circles.

"Hannah, isn't there more to the story, more you'd like to add?" Eddie looked over at her.

"Okay, I'm ready." She turned to Nick and held his face in her hands. She pulled him in for a short kiss on the lips. It might be the last time he would ever want to be near her after he heard the whole story. "I'm so sorry Nick. I'm so sorry I lied. Sam's your son. He, we, conceived him before you left and when I found out I was pregnant I made up the story about the Doof needing me to take calculus. I just wanted you to have some freedom before settling down here with a family. I just wanted to…"

"Wait. I'm Sam's father? But you said… Hannah, you finally had me believing that he wasn't mine.." Nick choked on the last of his words. He sat down right there on the kitchen floor next to Hannah's chair. So many emotions were running through his head. The most prevalent one was anger. He jumped up from his spot on the floor and stood over Hannah.

"You were carrying my son and you let me just leave? YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME THE CHOICE? And what the hell were you doing drinking and partying when you were carrying a baby?? Jesus Christ Hannah, what the hell???" Nick's voice was rising in anger.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME NICK._ YOU _LEFT. _YOU_ SAID YOU WOULD BE BACK. _YOU_ LIED. YEAH, I MADE A CHOICE, AND IT WAS TO RAISE YOUR SON ON MY OWN. ALONE. WITHOUT A FATHER WHO COULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE PEOPLE HE LEFT BEHIND. SO DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND PUT ALL THE BLAME ON ME NICK. THERE'S PLENTY OF IT TO GO AROUND." Hannah was pissed. Sure she didn't tell him, but hadn't he left her without a backwards glance?

"Hey guys. Look, that was a long time ago. More importantly, you were kids. I mean, 18 _is_ awfully young to condemn the choices we make for life. Now, Eddie and I are going to go into the bedroom while you two talk this out. I think you need a little privacy." That being said, Janet grabbed her plate and a soda from the fridge and went into her bedroom with Eddie closing the door behind them.

"Okay Hannah, I want to know everything; especially where Gavin Goddard comes into all of this. Are you ready to talk? I'm sorry I yelled. It's just all so much. But, I'm happy. I'm happy that Sam is mine. I want to say that first. And, well, I'm sorry I yelled, please, just tell me everything."

"Okay Nick. Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Trouble Sleeping**

**Chapter 3 **

"So, why don't you start by telling me who Gavin Goddard is?" Nick took her hands in his and tried to look kind and understanding. He didn't want her clamming up now that she was finally giving him a chance back in her life. And letting him into their son's life. His son. Wow, the feeling washed over him and he just beamed. He couldn't contain it. Sam, the greatest boy on this earth, the child that shared his unfortunate family peanut allergy and had his mother's kind eyes, was his. He had done something right in his life after all.

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" Hannah couldn't help but smile herself.

"Because it is finally sinking in that Sam is our child. He's.. he's so beautiful Hannah. Thank you. Thank you for loving him; nurturing him… he's just such a sweet boy." Nick was getting a little choked up on his words. Hannah smiled.

"It wasn't hard, he's an easy kid to love." She looked at Nick and sighed. She should have told him. She realized now that 18 years ago, he was grieving and young and stupid, just like her. They were both victims of their youth. Well, life is full of "should of 's" and "could of's", but reality was reality. It was time to tell Nick all about her summer after he left.

"You know, my mom figured out shortly after you left that I was pregnant. She hit the roof! My father threatened to shoot you on site when you came back to town. But you never came back and that's when my parent's got worried. 'Hannah Jane, you will not have a child of Nick Garret's running around if he's not man enough to own up to his responsibilities. We will simply have to find you another father.' I'm like, 'Mom, seriously, Nick didn't know.' But she would have none of it. And so Gavin Goddard came into play."

"Well, you didn't just make him up. I mean I saw the guy, so who is he?"

"He's actually a family friend that owed Dad a favor. He was just supposed to come up to town once her twice and then be a 'deadbeat'. But it didn't go down like that. He felt bad for me I guess and once Sam was born, he would visit on occasion, and call once a month or so. Then when my parents moved to the Cape, he started coming more frequently. Right before I started dating Ray, Gavin told me he had feelings for me, he wanted us to be a family and that he wanted to be a real father to Sam. I was shocked. I had no clue that he wasn't being more than just a friend and I let him down as easily as I could. Anyway, he took it in stride, because that is just his personality and we became better friends. Finally when Sam was old enough, he figured Gavin must be his father and we never really led him to believe anything different. Recently though, I think your book has a lot to do with it, over the past year or so, Sam has come to the conclusion that you may be his dad. It's all such a mess, he's going to be so mad at me and hurt. And Ray! Ray asked to adopt Sam and I told him in my cowardice yes…"

"Uh, I'm not trying to be an ass here, but there is no way in hell that Big "Cat" Cataldo is going to be adopting…" Hannah cut him off with a palm to his cheek.

"I know, Nick. It was a desperate and pitiful attempt to avoid having to tell the truth. You know, Ray has always been nice to Sam. Loving towards him. Him and Sam get along great. He's not that bad of a guy. He just comes off like a jerk sometimes."

"Listen Hannah, I know you're marrying the guy and all, but he's not that sweet, trust me. He may be able to compartmentalize his behavior with how he treats you in comparison with how he treats the rest of the free world, but I can't. Some people are just jerks. And Hannah, he is 'some people'."

"So, what do we do now Nick?" Hannah just shook her head. Nick and Ray hated each other since they were kids, it wasn't going to change.

"Well, I think the first step is to start telling the people closest to us. My family and Aubrey…" Whew, she was not going to like this. Nick knew Aubrey was secretly relieved by the denials of Nick being Sam's father. This was going to put a definite strain on their relationship. "And well, I guess you need to tell Ray first. Then, Sam."

"Ray is going to be so angry, so hurt."

"Yea, I know, but the guy, even if he is a jerk, has a right to know. And Hannah, let me make this clear, now that I know, there is no turning back. Sam is my son and I expect to be just as much a part of his life as you are."

"He'd love that Nick, and quite frankly, so would I." She leaned on him then. Just like those crutches that he and Eddie fashioned out of hockey sticks for her. She leaned on him till she could feel his strength supporting her weight. She just leaned, waiting for that feeling of safety to wash over her. Nick took his arm and put it around her, holding on to her as if he never wanted to let her go.

Eddie and Janet walk into the room. It was as if Nick and Hannah were in a bubble and it burst. They had forgotten time and place, they were so relaxed and emotionally spent from their conversation.

"Don't mind us, we're just going to get some food. Hannah it's getting close to 9. Do you want me and Eddie to go get Sam from the sitter so you and Nick can keep talking?"

"No, but thanks Janet. I have to go home. I gotta talk to Ray. Tell him all of this. And, I gotta talk to Sam. I can't hide from it anymore. It's time." Hannah was afraid of this conversation most of all. She knew Ray would hate the fact that she lied, but he would hate it even more that of all people, Nick was Sam's father. If truth be told, she was having serious doubts about their relationship anyway. It would almost be easier on her if he broke off the whole thing.

"Hannah, do you want me to come with? I want to be there when you tell Sam. If there is a fallout, I deserve as much as you do. And to be quite honest, I don't want to miss anything else that goes on in his life. I've missed too much already." He looked so hopeful. Nick always had that way about him. He was hardly ever sad. She remembered that about him the most. Remembered how he was like the silver lining guy. He didn't even seem that angry with her anymore. Amazing.

"Okay Nick, but we can tell Sam tomorrow. Tonight, I have to talk to Ray and that has to be in private, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Maybe we can all meet at my place tomorrow and talk with Sam? It's Saturday so maybe we can have lunch. I'll ask the Commander and Ronnie to be scarce so we can have some privacy?"

"No, I think it should be at my place Nick. He feels safe there. He has his room to run to if he feels like he needs to leave, you know?" And he will run. Oh, her baby was going to be so angry with her. But given his current hero worship of Nick, maybe it won't be so bad having him there when she told him.

"Okay, that sounds like a plan." Nick turned to Janet and Eddie. "Thanks for letting us use your place Janet. Eddie…" At this point, Nick was struggling to find the right words. "…thanks for bringing me here tonight. And weird as it may sound. Thanks for being there for Hannah, and then for Sam, all those years when I wasn't." He walked over to his friend, his best friend in fact, and gave him a hug. Nick walked over to Hannah and took her hand and they walked out the door together.

After getting halfway to her car, Hannah realized something flashed in her mind. She turned around and half ran back to Janet's front door. Nick, alarmed by her sudden change, ran after her. Hannah pounded on the door and after a second Janet answered.

"Hannah! Did you forget…" Before the words left her mouth, Hannah was grabbing Janet's left hand and admiring her ring.

"I assume this is what I think it is. I was so wrapped up in my own little world… I'm sorry. I am so happy for you guys. Congratulations!" Hannah and Janet start gossiping and giggling like schools girls over bridal colors and wedding dates. Nick and Eddie start having a conversation of their own.

"Eddie! Why didn't you say anything??? This is great! Do the guys know yet?" Nick was walking over to Eddie, half shaking his hand, half hugging his neck.

"Just Phys, but knowing him, he's already called O and Ike…" Eddie fell silent. This is the kind of occasion that would call for a toast-up with your boys. But Ikey wasn't one of them anymore. Nick had always felt Ikey got a raw deal. One sin, four punishers…sucks. Nick turns to Eddie and says…

"You know, I don't think Owen will disown us if we forgive Ikey a little earlier than he does. This is your news to share. You're happy and your first inclination was to tell Ikey. To share this with him. You've worked with the guy for 10 years Eddie and been friends a hell of a lot longer than that. People make mistakes, big ones, and as friends, well, we should be able to forgive them. That's all I'm sayin'." Nick looked hopefully at Eddie.

"Yeah, I'll think about it Nicky." Eddie hesitated and then said in a low voice that Nick could barely hear, "And you know, I'm glad you came back. I'm glad we're working together. I …I uhm, really missed you man." And with that, Eddie slapped him on the shoulder, straightened himself up and walked back towards the kitchen as if the whole personal exchange hadn't happened. Nick smiled; Eddie never liked to show his "soft" side.

"Hey Hannah, we should get going; Sam will probably be wondering where you are." Nick extended his hand out a second time that night for Hannah. She took it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Tonight for this little bit of time, they were a family. Thoughts of Aubrey and Big Cat were out of mind for now. They mutually seemed to agree that just for _now_, until Hannah got home, everything between them was as it was, as it should have been. The problem is, _now_ is just that, _now_. _Later_ always seems to follow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Hey Hannah, we should get going; Sam will probably be wondering where you are." Nick extended his hand out a second time that night for Hannah. She took it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Tonight for this little bit of time, they were a family. Thoughts of Aubrey and Big Cat were out of mind for now. They mutually seemed to agree that just for _now_, until Hannah got home, everything between them was as it was, as it should have been. The problem is, _now_ is just that, _now_. _Later_ always seems to follow.

Hannah and Nick walked hand in hand to her car. It wasn't a lover's hand-holding, it was far more than that. It was two people who despite their length of time apart still had an ease with one another, a connection. It was natural. Nick knew this meant that he and Hannah were healing, maybe even working their way back to each other. But first, she had to decide what she wanted. Did she want to go through with her marriage to Big Cat or would she decide to postpone. If she postponed, it would be a good enough sign for him that maybe they could be a family one day. Nick paused to think about Aubrey. He genuinely liked her. Too bad for Aubrey, in another life, she might have even been the one for him. But at that moment when Hannah kissed him ever so gently before she told him that he was Sam's dad, all thoughts of Aubrey went out the window. She was no longer a possibility and it was better for all involved to just tell her. Even if Hannah didn't break up with Big Cat, he knew he could no longer settle for anything less than the spectacular. Things with him and Aubrey were… nice. But there was no fire, no real passion. He didn't feel for Aubrey one tenth of what he felt for Hannah. Still, after all these years. Yup, Hannah Jane wouldn't be the only one talking to a significant other tonight.

"So, where would you like me to drop you? Home, work?" Hannah was composed now. Her nose was still a little pink and her eyes still a little puffy from crying, but all in all, she looked as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"Would you mind dropping me at work? My car is there and I gotta go see Aubrey tonight." Aubrey! Hannah had almost forgotten about her. She guessed he would want to share this news with his special someone. Well, what did you expect Hannah? Stupid, stupid… just don't even go there with your thoughts. Nick is Sam's dad and that's it. But her mind flashed with images of a kiss dreamed about, the way he held her and said her name. It was all so real and Hannah knew that she could have that again, that passion, that fire all she had to do was tell him she wanted him back.

"Hannah?" Nick was looking at her. She had yet to start the car and he noticed the surprise on her face when he brought up Aubrey's name. "Hannah?"

"Yes Nick…"

"I'm going to end it with Aubrey." He said it so quietly she almost thought she imagined it. He continued.. "No, and it's not because of you, well, it kinda is. You see, I realized tonight that Aubrey and I, we are just coasting. It's not exciting and I don't feel for her even a little of how I felt and still feel about you. So even if there isn't a chance for a you and me, I can't continue with Aubrey. She's just not the one. It's not fair to her. I'm going to move out the way to make room for the right man to come into her life."

"Wow... Nick, that's a big decision to make in such a short period of time."

"No it's not. Not when you are certain about something. And again, it's not a pressure tactic for you Hannah, I just wanted you to know, in case you….may want to reconsider things between us. But, I'm mostly doing this because it's the right thing to do, for Aubrey and for me. Let's leave it at that. It's time to go Hannah, start the car, Sam will be wondering where you are. I'm sure Ray will be thinking the same thing."

With that, Hannah gave a quick, jerky nod, started the car and drove towards Best Friends Windows.

………………………………………………..

Ray had all day to think about Hannah and what she said in her sleep. He had been snapping heads off all day long including Matt and Ikey. Matt had asked him a few different times "What gives?" but he just grumbled something about a bad night's sleep. Ray wasn't ready to confide in anyone about his shortcomings with his relationship. Every time he tried to work up a good "mad" he would get a flash in his mind of Hannah in her ratty old robe right out of the shower or her face when he was making love to her. He saw her helping his twins cut up the meat on their plates, or staying up with him late at night to make sure their weren't any mistakes on his payroll printout. As much as he wanted to hate her for throwing a wrench in his plans, he couldn't. He loved her and damned if that didn't make him a fool.

The truth of the matter was, Ray didn't have any real friends. Matt worked for him and often times Ray felt like he was being humored and placated. Ray just hated to be made a fool of and that is what Hannah was doing to him. But he couldn't help but hope that it was _just_ a dream and that she really loved him. That was his weakness. She was really his friend and lover. He loved being around her and he never let anyone, not even Christine get as close to his heart as Hannah had. Hannah knew his hopes and dreams, and worst of all she knew most of his fears. Ray was so worried about not being seen as a fool that he worked hard ever since he graduated from high school to be the best contractor around. He showed everyone in town that he was a person to be respected and even feared. But that had come at a high price. It hadn't helped him maintain friendships or make new ones. He was building a business, his own little empire, and as a result sometimes that meant stepping on the little guy. But that's what business is. Hannah understood that about him; his need to succeed and stay on top. So if he walked away from 4 years, _4 good years_, then what would he do? Go back to being alone? No one to talk to at all? Ray decided right then and there to confront Hannah about the dream and ask her point blank if she was really in love with Garrett. If she even hesitated, he would walk out that damn door and never, ever return. After all, a guy had to have some pride.

…………………………………

Hannah parked her car in the driveway, looked both ways then sprinted across the street to her neighbors to get Sam. Thanking them profusely, she took a sleepy Sam home and sent him straight up to his bed. It was almost 10 o'clock now and Ray wasn't home. Just as she was about to call his cell, he walked in the door. She was genuinely happy to see him. How could Nick make her feel one way and Ray make her feel another. Both feelings were good, and even felt right but she didn't want to think about that right now as she had some other things to take care of.

"Hey, it must've been a hell of a day?" Hannah smiled at him, a twinkle in her eye.

"Huh?" Ray was confused, she didn't know that he knew about her dream, did she?

"You said you had a lot of paperwork to catch up on?" She gave him a funny look and continued. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah.. yeah… just a lot of paperwork." Ray was scared. He didn't know if he could handle it if she said she was in love with Garrett, that she was leaving him for Garrett. It would be humiliating. After all he had done to make sure she was happy with him, in a less than a year that asshole came into town and threw his whole life into disarray.

"Ray…uhm… we need to talk about some things." Hannah looked at him, and he realized that her face didn't look quite right. It looked as if she had been crying. _Oh shit_.

"What do we need to talk about Hannah Jane?" He tried to play it cool, this is what he wanted, the truth. But somehow, now that the moment was here, he wasn't ready for it. He just wanted one more night with her as his, completely his. "Why don't we go upstairs, have a nice long bath together, make love all night and talk in the morning." He gave her his slow, sexy smile that she usually found irresistible.

"I would love that more than anything Ray." And Hannah realized she meant that. In this moment when she was with him, all she wanted was to stay with him. The problem was, when she was with Nick, she felt the same way. "After I tell you what I have to tell you, if you feel the same way about me then I would love to go upstairs with you."

"Hannah, just tell me what you need to tell me. You're starting to freak me out here." Okay, maybe his slow, sexy smile didn't work all the time.

"It's about Sam."

_Sam?_ He hadn't expected that! "What about Sam?"

"Well, more like Sam's father. His real father." Hannah, paused, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Gavin Goddard?" A chill was running down his back, straight to his toes.

"No, Nick Garrett."

A little bit of his love for Hannah died right there. She lied to him, repeatedly. He asked her on more than one occasion if Nick was Sam's real father and she always flatly refused. Now how could he ever believe anything she ever said again? He was so worried that she was in love with Garrett that he was completely blindsided by this news. Then, all of a sudden, something occurred to Ray.

"Wait, just wait a minute. If this Goddard guy isn't the father, and you knew that, why did you tell me I could adopt Sam? Did you ever plan on going through with any of this, or with our wedding?" Ray was losing patience by the second, he was starting to raise his voice.

"Shhhhhhh! Ray, we don't need Sam to be awake for this conversation. Listen, I don't know what I was thinking when I told you that you could adopt Sam. I was desperate to make you happy and to show you I was committed to this relationship. You seemed to think my being okay with the adoption hinged on the happiness of our marriage. It was a stupid thing to think I could just sweep this under the carpet and it would go away."

"Well, you've been doing a damn good job of just that for years!!! Why the hell have you decided to tell me this now? Huh, Hannah?" This was it, the moment that he was going into her crosshairs and shot in between the eyes. She was leaving him for Garret. It all made sense. It was no secret that Nick wanted her back, and she had been dreaming of him! He was Sam's father! Why wouldn't she want them to be a family? Ray stood a little taller and a little straighter, he could handle this because in the end, he knew that she was no longer the woman he thought she was.

"Well Ray, there's some things I need to tell you. I want you to listen first, and when I'm done, you can have at it, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever.."

"Well first off I should tell you that when Nick left all those years ago, I already knew I was pregnant. I let him go without telling him about Sam because I wanted him to have that one last freedom, you know? Before settling down with a baby. Anyway, Nick never came back…." Hannah continued the story that she had told Nick earlier today. Ray listened intently, all the while amazed that even though he thought he knew Hannah, he didn't know jackshit about her. It amazed him even more so that she could keep such a big secret in a place like the Ridge. "and that's pretty much everything Ray."

"That still doesn't answer the question why you are telling me this now? Clearly it didn't seem necessary to tell me before. What gives?"

"I've been having some conversations with Eddie, since Nick came back, he's been on me to tell Nick the truth about that summer."

"Eddie knew Sam was Nick's?"

"No, he just was thinking about the part where we slept together. The only people who knew the truth were me, Gavin, and my parents. About a month and a half ago, I told Janet that Gavin wasn't the father, but I didn't tell her it was Nick either. I'm so sorry Ray."

"Is that everything you want to tell me Hannah?"

"No.. uh… anyway, I have been having these dreams. About Nick? " She blew out a breath and continued, "In the dream he tells me he's happy for me, for us and then I tell him I'm not going to marry you and that I want us to be together." She said the last part really quick as if ripping off a band-aid.

"And is that what you want Hannah Jane?"

"No! At least I don't think so. It's hard Ray, I guess there was so much unresolved stuff between me and Nick and my way to deal with it was to NOT deal with it. It's not working. I love you Ray, I'm so sorry about this…"

"I see. Okay Hannah, have you told me everything you wanted me to hear?"

"Oh! Uhm, yeah… what do we…" Before Hannah could finish her sentence, Ray got up and walked up the stairs. She heard him banging around in the bedroom and in about five minutes he was back downstairs with a bag. "Wait, Ray! I didn't say I want this to end, I just don't know what to do. I know I love you I just don't know where we stand?"

"WHERE WE STAND???" Ray took a deep breath and willed himself to lower his voice. "Where we stand? There is no _we_ Hannah. I heard you this morning, did you know that? Sometimes you talk in your sleep and this morning was no different. You were laying in the bed that we share dreaming of another man. I told myself that if there was any hesitation tonight on your part I would leave. And that, Hannah, is what I intend to do. I don't need this. I loved you with all I had and I come to find out that you're nothing but a liar who could give a damn about me."

"Ray, that's not true…"

"Isn't it Hannah? I mean, you were going to marry me with this secret hanging over us? You lied to me repeatedly about Sam's father and you lied to me when you said I could adopt him. I may be divorced and not the biggest authority on matters of the heart, but I am damn sure what you did is not something you do to the people you care about." With that, Ray stormed out the door, leaving Hannah sitting alone in her living digesting his words.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Sam Daniels was having trouble sleeping. Ever since his mom came to get him around ten from Mrs. White's house and he noticed that she had been crying, he couldn't seem to get his mind off of it. She walked him up to his room and kissed him on the top of his head like always. "Night baby." And she walked away, leaving him to get ready for bed.

Just as he was pulling the covers over his head he heard the snatches of an argument between his mom and Ray. Curious he got out of the bed, and walked over to his door. He opened the door slightly and heard Ray say "…Did you ever plan on going through with any of this, or with our wedding?"

His mom said, "Shhhhh!..." and he couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. He heard Ray's side of the conversation, his mother must have been whispering.

"Well, you've been doing a damn good job of just that for years!!! Why the hell have you decided to tell me this now? Huh, Hannah?" His mom was speaking again and he started thinking over in his head what they could be talking about. Something that had happened years ago. Did his mom do something bad? Ray sounded awfully mad at her.

Great, now Ray was speaking so low he couldn't hear anything. But then, all of a sudden, he was walking up the stairs. Sam quickly shut his door and pressed his ear to it, trying to make out what was going on. He heard some slamming around in his mom's room and was that Ray, crying? No, it couldn't be. Then Ray was going back down the stairs. Sam quickly scrambled to his feet and opened his door. He went to the top of the stairs but stayed in the shadow so as not to be seen. Ray started shouting.

"WHERE WE STAND….Where we stand? There is no _we_ Hannah. I heard you this morning, did you know that? Sometimes you talk in your sleep and this morning was no different. You were laying in the bed that we share dreaming of another man. I told myself that if there was any hesitation tonight on your part I would leave. And that, Hannah, is what I intend to do. I don't need this. I loved you with all I had and I come to find out that you're nothing but a liar who could give a damn about me."

"Ray, that's not true…"

"Isn't it Hannah? I mean, you were going to marry me with this secret hanging over us? You lied to me repeatedly about Sam's father and you lied to me when you said I could adopt him. I may be divorced and not the biggest authority on matters of the heart, but I am damn sure what you did is not something you do to the people you care about."

Ray left and Sam watched as his mom looked at the door for what seemed like an eternity after he had gone. Sam just sat there in the shadows and everything started to click into place. So, they were arguing about his real father. But who was it? He hoped to God it was Nick, any other option would just be too much for him. Years ago he heard grandma and his mom talking about Gavin and he knew from that moment Gavin wasn't his dad. Sam wondered if his mom needed a hug. But he also worried that he would get in trouble for being out of bed. She wasn't crying, so he figured better go to bed. He'd give her a hug in the morning. It was Friday night and he wanted to make sure he wasn't grounded on Saturday!

………………………………………………..

Hannah stood looking at the door forever. It was over. Ray walked away from her and soon word would get out about what she had done. People would talk and she would be an outcast like Ikey. Amazingly, Nick didn't seem as angry as she thought he would be. Now with just a little courage she and Nick would tell Sam tomorrow that he was his father. Hannah sighed. She figured she better get a good night's sleep, she was going to need all her strength in the morning.

………………………………………………..

Ray drove to his house across town. He hadn't been there in weeks since he had all but moved in with Hannah. Thank God he hadn't sold it. Then he would really be up the creek. Thinking back over the night's events, he started to feel sick to his stomach. Who the hell was Hannah anyway? She had lied to him about all the important stuff. He shook his head, not able to believe he had almost made the same mistake twice of marrying the wrong woman.

………………………………………………..

Aubrey finally closed her textbook, not able to concentrate. Ever since Nick told her he was on his way over, she couldn't focus. He had said he needed to "talk" and there was no mistaking that tone in his voice. She knew he was going to break up with her. It was inevitable. She could tell for months now that he wasn't happy. He was…coasting. They had fun together, sure, but it wasn't what it should be. All the effort was one sided, her side. She was always calling him to make plans, asking what he was up to. It was rare that he ever made that effort. Sure the sex was hot, but a real relationship should be more than just sex. You should be able to really talk to one another. Truth be told, she really loved hanging out at his place with the Commander and Ronnie. She would really miss those two. The Commander, even not in his best health, really showed her what it was like to have a real dad around. And Ronnie, well he was just so darn easy to talk to. She was really going to miss him. Just then she heard a knock on her door, she got up, put her hands through her hair to smooth it out and plastered on a smile.

"Hey Nick."

"Hey." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and never met her eyes and she knew that her suspicions were true.

"Come on, let's sit down and talk Nick. You said something happened today that you wanted to talk about, among other things?"

"Yeah, look Aubrey I got some news today and it kinda made everything fall into perspective for me…" Nick paused. He didn't know how to do this without hurting her. He knew that she was going to be hurt, but he didn't want to hurt her. He liked Aubrey and had been with her for almost a year but it was stagnant. There was just no fire, and he needed that. It's what made a relationship last as far as he was concerned.

"Nick? You were saying?"

"Oh, sorry. Look Aubrey, I don't want to hurt you, but I think I'm about to. I just found out today that Sam is my son and it got me to thinking…"

"Sam is your son? You mean Hannah finally admitted it?"

"Yeah, she did, tonight. She told me over at Janet's with Eddie there. It was surreal. I haven't even told my dad or Ronnie yet, I just knew I had to come see you first, to do this."

"Just say it Nick, I know you're breaking up with me, so just say it." She wasn't looking directly at him but he could see the tears in her eyes start to well-up.

"I'm so sorry Aubrey. It's just not working. Am I alone in this? I mean, is this what you want? I can't be the only one feeling this lack of…." He searched for the right words, "passion?"

"No, you aren't alone in this Nick. It's just that I have fun with you and I didn't want it to end. I thought I would have fallen in love with you by now, but I can honestly say I haven't. I don't mind the sex though…" She looked at him and smiled.

"No, I didn't mind that so much either…" He grinned at her and pulled her to him in a hug. "I'm so sorry Aubrey, it's not because of Hannah, honest, it's just I think we both deserve better than this."

"Now don't lie to me Nick. This has always been about Hannah."

"No, really it's not.."

"I think it is, maybe not consciously, but subconsciously you were always comparing your new women to her. She was the bar and no one has been able to compare to her, ever. And that's not a judgment or a bashing; it's just the truth as I see it. And it's not wrong to feel that way about her if she's the one for you." She looked at him now and he saw that she was smiling.

"You're an amazing woman, you know that Aubrey? I can see what Ronnie sees in you."

"What? What are you talking about Nick?"

"He's in love with you, surely you have to know that?" Aubrey was astonished. She had no idea where Nick was getting his ideas from.

"Ronnie? He's not.. I mean.. how could he…" Aubrey was sputtering when Nick cut her off as he stood up to leave.

"Look, I gotta run. I don't want us to be strangers. I still want to be friends, if you want that too?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'd like that Nick." Aubrey was still stunned by the whole _Ronnie-is-in-love-with-you_ thing to even focus on what Nick was saying.

"Okay, I gotta run Aubs, I'll see you around." And with that he bent to give her a kiss on the cheek and smiled on his way out. Seed planted, he had done what he could for his little brother. Of course he could always tell how Ronnie felt about her, it was so obvious. The way Ronnie looked at Aubrey, well it was the way he probably still looked at Hannah. Hopefully those two might find happiness together. Starting up his car, Nick headed home to tell his dad that he was a grandpa.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Aubrey sat on her couch long after Nick left. She waited for tears that would inevitably to come. They didn't. She really had seen this coming, Sam being Nick's son was just the catalyst he needed to end things. But if not for this news, it would have been something else. She had really tried to stick with this relationship. She was obsessive about it because of her tendencies to run just like her dad. Aubrey realized today that sometimes it was okay to walk away, if you did it the right way and with care. Her thoughts turned to Ronnie. Goofy Ronnie Garrett? No way. How weird would that be? Sure he was cute, but, he was Nick's brother. She laughed out loud and caught herself self-consciously. She remembered she was alone, so she laughed again. _Ronnie, that was just plain weird. Wasn't it?_

……………………………………

As Nick drove home, he was relieved Aubrey didn't seem too devastated over the break-up. Although, admittedly, his ego wished she was a little sadder to let him go. He was anxious to get home and talk to the Commander, but at this point he wondered if he should just wait till the morning. His dad was still recovering from his chemo and even though his last round had been a month ago, he still seemed weak and tired all the time. Looking at him always made Nick afraid that he would lose him just like he lost his mother. Sometimes he felt like getting in his car and leaving just to get away from it all. But he stayed, even though it was the hardest thing to do, he stayed. People were depending on him to be in the Ridge and that was where he would be even if it killed him. Now he had Sam to consider and knowing he had a son, he could never walk away from that.

Opening the front door, he glanced at the clock on the wall as it chimed 11 o'clock. _Well, he'd wait till the morning._ Just as he was about to walk up the stairs, he heard a noise in the kitchen. Figuring it was Ronnie up for a snack; he went towards the kitchen and was surprised to see his dad and Leslie sitting at the counter drinking milk and eating some homemade cookies. As it so happens, Leslie turned out to be a fine cook, something the Garrett men had been benefiting from for months now. Once she found out his dad was sick, she stepped in and just sort of took over the house. It was a good thing, and he thought not only did he and Ronnie like it, so did his Dad.

"Nicky! Just getting in?" The Commander looked well tonight as he always seemed to have a little more lift to his step when Leslie was around. He was smiling and his color was good. Leslie had her nightgown and robe on so she must be spending the night again. Nick wondered why they just didn't just get married and make it official. It was weird seeing his dad "shacking up." He loved Leslie and loved that she made his father happy. He also admired the fact that she stayed by his side through his entire illness.

"Yeah Dad, how you feeling tonight?" Nick walked over and gave the Commander a kiss on top of the head as was his habit of late. He walked around and gave Leslie a peck on the cheek. She could never replace his mother, but she fit here and he was staring to beleive things would feel wrong if she weren't around. He grabbed a cookie from the plate and took a bite; he needed a moment to savor the party that was currently going on in his mouth.

"Fair to good Nicky. I'm getting my strength up and hoping to be able to start working again soon." He had a determined and stubborn look on his face. Leslie turned to him and put her hand on his face and glared at him.

"No Robert. The doctor said you can't rush your recovery. You will wait for your two months of leave to run out and _then_ you may _consider_ going back to work. With the doctors approval of course! Not a moment sooner sweetheart." The Commander gave her a look; it was so tender and grateful that Nick was embarrassed to have witnessed it. It made his stomach tighten for just a minute. Yeah, the Commander was in love and probably going to get remarried. Nick reminded himself that he was okay with it, that Ma would be okay with it.

Clearing his throat, the Commander looked at Nick, "So Nicky, what goes on? You look like you got something on your mind?"

"Yeah Dad, I do. I got some news today and it kinda threw me for a loop. It's good news but it's still.. well, it's a big deal." Robert's throat started to close up. If Nicky was leaving again, he didn't think he could handle it. It's all well and good to let your children leave the nest, but it was so nice having his boys at home, together, like a family should be. Sensing his worry, Leslie snaked her hand into his under the counter and squeezed a little, to let him know she understood.

"Well, for God's sake son, what is it? You're killin' me here!"

"Oh, sorry! Uhm, I found out today that Sam is my son."

"Nicky, this again? Hannah told you he wasn't…" Nick cut him off.

"Well today, Hannah told me he was. She admitted to lying to me about it." An angry look crossed over the Commander's face, Nick rushed on, "She was scared Dad. Scared I'd leave again, scared I'd screw it all up again. So she did what any mother would do, she protected her son from something she thought could harm him. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with it, but her heart was in the right place."

"Well, congratulations Nick! That's wonderful news, and Sam is such a special little boy. I see a lot of you in him." Leslie was off her feet and hugging him in an instant. The Commander just sat there, absorbing it all. He finally spoke.

"So, that's it huh? I'm a grandfather?" He smiled, it was a deep down happy smile. The Commander didn't think he could have gotten better news today. "Well snippity loo Nicky! Another Garrett man joins the fold!" He got up from his bar stool and walked around the counter to Nick grabbing him into a bear hug. He had happy tears in his eyes and the strength in his arms was far from weak and recovering.

"Dad, I know I screwed things up when I left almost eleven years ago, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it up to Sam. If you ever taught me anything, it's how to be a good father. I'll just need lots of advice I think…will you help me Dad? I'm kinda freaking out. I'm happy, but, I'm freaking out!" He looked at his father, grateful not to see disappointment, but pride.

"Nick, when something happens, and you need help, I'm always here for you son. Always." The Commander kissed his son on the top of the head, much as Nick had done when he first came home. He held him in his arms for what seemed like an eternity. This is what it's all about, he thought to himself. Life can throw you some rotten turns of luck, but sometimes, it can send such happiness your way, you might just burst from it.

All cried out and feeling a little foolish, the Commander let go of Nick and cleared his throat again. Leslie, looked off in another direction giving him a moment to compose himself. God he loved this woman. She always seemed to anticipate what he needed. To be so blessed to have found that in a partner twice in one lifetime; it was all so amazing.

"So, there's more news." Nick looks over at his dad and Leslie and starts to laugh.

"What's that Nick?" Leslie, looked curious and starting smiling back at him, it was infectious.

"Eddie and Janet are engaged."

"Ooooooh, I knew it! That kiss in Sully's almost a year ago still has me reeling in delight. I saw the love there even before they did! That's wonderful!" Leslie was beaming like most women did when they heard there would be a wedding.

"Well that's damn fine news son. Eddie couldn't have chosen a better woman to settle down with."

Nick had to admit his dad was right.

……………………………………………….

Sam woke up to the sun shining in his eyes. He turned to look out the window; it looked like it would be a beautiful day. He wondered if Doodie was up for a ride around the neighborhood and maybe some catch in the park. But the bigger question on his mind was would his mother finally tell him the truth about his dad?

"Hey Ma!" Sam walked into the kitchen ten minutes later, dressed and ready to go out for the day. It was already past 10 and he had lots of things planned for the day. Hannah was sitting at the table drinking her morning coffee. Sam graced her with a rare gift; he hugged and kissed her good morning. Grabbing a banana and a glass of milk he sat down with her.

"Wow, what was _that_ for?" Hannah couldn't help but smile, despite her worry about the day to come. Today she would tell her son that his father wasn't Gavin and that it was Nick. She would have to tell him she lied to him and see that look of disappointment on his face when he realized that she didn't always do the right thing.

"Just looked like you needed it. So, do you mind if I hang out with Doodie today? I cleaned up my room on Thursday and I don't have that much homework to do. It just looks like it's gonna be a nice day and I don't wanna miss it? Oh, and I promise to do my homework tonight!" Sam gave her the sweet angelic face he always used when trying to get his way.

"Oh, that's fine Sam, but I need you to come home for lunch at about 12:30, okay? We have some things to talk about." Sam considered asking her about it right then and there, but decided to wait. She looked really nervous and scared and he wanted her to do it on her time. He could wait another couple of hours.

"Okay Ma, but can we make it one? It's already after 10."

"Sure Rockstar, one o'clock. Okay? And uh, have Doodie go to his own house for lunch today baby, it's private, okay?"

"Okay Ma, I love you." Sam graced her with another kiss and was out the door before she could yell at him to get his helmet. She knew he would wear it, but she always tried to remind him anyway. Just then, she heard her cell phone ringing, it was Nick.

"Hey, good morning." Well it was real now. Nick was calling she was sure about having that talk with Sam.

"Hey Hannah. Morning. How…uhm...how did it go last night? With Big Cat?"

"It went. Not so great, he's gone. I betrayed a trust and I hurt him so badly. I don't think he'll ever forgive me." Hannah started tearing up and was trying hard for composure. Nick was secretly glad for the news, but he felt bad that Hannah was feeling bad about it.

"Hey, we all make mistakes. Forgiveness is a gift that not everyone has. Sometimes time helps heal all wounds. Wouldn't you say Hannah? I mean, I think you and I are healing a bit. If Ray is a smart man, time will make his see the wonderful treasure that you are. That you made a mistake." Thinking more of the two of them, hoping it wouldn't work out with her and Big Cat, Nick continued, "If you and Big Cat are meant for each other, I'm sure it will work itself out." Hoping like hell that wasn't the case, Nick fell silent.

"Thanks Nick. I just don't know what's mean to be right now." She paused, digesting his words, sighed and continued, "What I _do_ know is that Sam will be back home for our talk around one o'clock, can you make that?"

"Hannah, there is no place I'd rather be."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Ronnie sat at the kitchen counter Saturday morning, reading the sports section and sipping some coffee. The sun was streaming in the window promising a beautiful day. Leslie walked in the kitchen, still in her robe, hair pilled on top of her head in disarray from the nights sleep. She smiled at him as she poured herself a cup from the pot, "Morning Ronnie."

"Morning. Did you sleep well? My dad?" Leslie knew Ronnie was asking about Robert and his health more than anything.

"He's doing fine this morning Ronnie. He's just in the shower right now. He's going to be okay you know." Leslie put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze of reassurance. Ronnie struggled for composure, and then just gave her a quick nod of thanks. Everyday, Ronnie feared he would get a call on his cell phone that something had happened to his father. He lived in constant fear of losing him. Leslie always managed to soothe those fears away.

"I'm surprised Nicky isn't up and at 'em already, it's like 10 o'clock already. He's never been a late riser!" Ronnie frowned a little. Looking towards the stairs, he wondered if Aubrey was up there with him, having sex with his brother. Ugh. Was it too early for a drink? He had to get over this obsession he had with her. He was afraid it was becoming common knowledge that little Ronnie Garrett had the hots for his big brother's girl.

"Oh, Nick is already gone. I ran into him this morning when I came down to get your father's medicine. He was going over to Eddie's place. They were having an early morning celebration over their good news."

"What good news?" Ronnie was going to be sick. _Please God, let it be anything but a proposal._ If Nick and Aubrey were going to get married he would have to leave the state, maybe even the country. The pain of it would just be too much to bear.

"Well, I assumed that after Nick talked to us last night he went to talk to you too. You don't know about Sam?"

"What about Sam?" Leslie started to fill Ronnie in on all the details about Sam's paternity. He half listened as she told the story that was not so unfamiliar to him. Everyone had suspected that Sam was Nick's son, it was just out in the open now. All the while she was talking; he was just relieved it wasn't about Aubrey. Yup, it was going to be a beautiful day.

……………………………………..

Ray pulled the sheet over his head, rolled over and groaned. No doubt his hangover was coming on with full force. The sun was too bright and the sound of his bedside clock's ticking was too loud. After storming out of Hannah's place last night, he went to his house, and straight to the liquor cabinet. He felt the occasion warranted something harder than a six-pack of beer. He proceeded to down too many shots to recall and pass out on his couch. Sometime in the middle of the night after barely making it to the bathroom, he crawled upstairs to the debatable comfort of his bed. Waking up in the morning, memories of the day before came crashing down around him. Hannah was lost to him forever. He would not be able to go back. She had taken what little faith and trust he had left and stomped on it. Sighing, Ray decided to get out of bed and face the day. He had the twins at noon and needed to call Christine to tell her to drop them off at the house instead of at Hannah's. Sitting up, the room spun out of control. Shit, Shit, SHIT! Holding his hand over his mouth and not moving for a few seconds, he managed to hold off the vomit creeping up his throat. Taking a few deep breaths through his nose, he waited till the room stopped spinning. He got up carefully then made a mad dash to the toilet. All dignity lost, Ray sat on the bathroom floor and cried over the loss of 4 ½ of the best years of his life. Today was definitely going to be a bad day.

………………………………………….

Nick hung up the phone and turned to the guys. They were all joking around and making fun of Eddie, who refused to tell Janet he loved her in front of the guys. Eddie threw a pillow across the room at Phys for his smart mouth and it started a ruckus. Bagels, plastic knives, pillows and crumbled up paper cups flew back and forth across the room in a good old-fashioned food fight. Ikey threw a bagel and it hit Owen square in the chest.

"IKEY!!' Owen thundered and everyone froze.

"Dude, I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the moment and…" Before Ikey could finish, Owen threw a banana at his head and shouted,

"You're fair game now, buddy.." Owen was smiling and everyone relaxed as the banana sailed past Ikey's left ear.

"You never could throw worth a damn O." Eddie broke in and they all started laughing. Nick realized that things were going to be okay with the guys, they would work it out.

"So Nicky, was that Hannah on the phone?" Ikey fidgeted with his baseball cap and pulled on it a little. He kept glancing over at Owen; maybe there was some hope for him and his former best friend.

"Yeah, she wants to meet at one to tell Sam. She also said Big Cat didn't take the news so hot. He left her last night."

"Hey man, that's great, maybe now you and Hannah…" Phil started but was cut off by Nick.

"She's all busted up and confused right now. I gotta play long-ball on this one, right O?"

"That's right Nicky. Long-ball."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Eddie asked, clearly confused. Phil and Ikey had the same looks of confusion on their faces too.

"It's a long story fellas, a _long_ story."

…………………………

Sam pedaled home as fast as he could. He was late, but not by much. Surely Ma wouldn't punish him over a mere, he glanced at his wristwatch, twenty minutes? Swerving his bike straight through the gate and up the path to his front door, he screeched to a halt with an expertise known to many ten year old boys. Dropping his bike where he stopped, he leapt off and ran up the porch steps. Just as he was about to open the door, Ma's head poped out and they both gave a little yelp of surprise.

"Ahhhh!" Sam yelled!

"SAM!" Hannah exclaimed. "You're late mister."

"Sorry Ma, sorry. But Doodie…." Hannah cut him off.

"Never mind Sam, come inside." Now that it was time, Sam was nervous. His back to the living room, Sam put his bike helmet in the front closet and turned around. The first thing he noticed was Nick sitting on the couch. He had a goofy look on his face like he had never seen him before.

"Heyah Nick, what goes on?" Sam started saying 'What goes on' in emulation of his hero.

"Heyah Sam. Nothing much, just enjoying the fine weather the Ridge has to offer. Have a good adventure on the streets with Doodie?"

"Yeah, we had a blast. Are you staying for lunch?"

"Yes, I am. Your mom is making some sandwiches in the kitchen right now. Hungry?"

"Starved." Sam hesitated. There was a lull in the conversation so he jumped on the opportunity. "What are you doing here Nick? No offense, but you have never actually hung out at our place for any type of meal or anything. Are you and Ma becoming friends again?"

"You could say that your mom and I came to some understandings. But yeah, we're friends again."

Just then Hannah called out from the kitchen, "Lunch's Ready!!!" Nick and Sam stood up and walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Looks great Hannah Jane. Is that corned beef? It's my…"

"Favorite. I know." Hannah smiled at Nick and sat down to her own sandwich. They ate in silence for what seemed an eternity. Nick glanced at Hannah and gave her a look. Hannah looked at Nick as if to say _you start. _After a few minutes of this back and forth, Sam interrupted the silence.

"So, are you guys going to tell me Nick is my dad today, or are you gonna wait till I'm fifty?"


End file.
